Monday, 11 January 2010

Dumb People

I have conducted an imaginary interview with a television personality who I shall call DOB and who likes to “tickle the English.” He also just loves going on trips by boat with a Welshman GRJ and an Englishman RMG and being “argumentatival.”

When I asked DOB what he thought about background sound on television he made some rude signs to me. I realised immediately that he had lost his voice.

I asked him how come he had lost his voice. DOBs arms waved about and fingers wiggled like mad. I tried very hard to contain my mirth and be serious while also trying to understand what he was trying to communicate.

It transpires that he was having an altercation (that took some translation from his signing) with the soundmen while broadcasting and he had had to shout so loud he had damaged his vocal cords. I asked him why he thought the soundmen had to make so much noise. He pointed at the sky, waved hands about and touched his nose.

I interpreted this as “God only Feckin Knows.”

As DOB is an atheist, I wondered if all the noise had affected his views.
I asked him.

He told me by some very clever movements and facial expressions that the soundmen were trying to prove there was such a thing as “anti-sound” and the means of proving their theory was to broadcast inappropriate noises to the nation by means of television sub-titles. It’s “ok” they said (apparently), “the service has already been paid for and as the general public have no means of complaining so they must be dumb”

Watching DOB make the gesture for DUMB I just fell about.

Many a true word is spoken in jest I thought. I am dumb and so is the viewing public when you think about it. We have no means to make our voice heard.
Even if we get the message over nobody is going to do anything about it …

Are they? ;-/

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