Wednesday, 20 January 2010

News at Ten

There was a beautiful light all around me. I seemed to be floating and to have no weight at all. My body seamed to be like the light air fluffy clouds gently flowing past. Things sparkled and glowed gently while drifting in and out of my vision in a tantalising yet curiously soothing manner.

Then I noticed my old dog coming for a pat on the head. “Hang on,” I thought, “She died years ago.”

I was not afraid of the revelation that I must have “moved on.” In fact, apart from a feeling of great contentment and Joy, I had no feelings of regret, pain, remorse or sadness. Everything was bright and beautiful.

“Ahh, there you are, Welcome my gr gr gr grandson, you will, I know, be happy here.”

As I greeted my gr gr gr granddad (that was not a stutter but my ancestor line squared to the power of infinity) I was aware of a great knowledge and a closeness and fellowship with all my past relatives and friends and pets (particularly “M” the budgie, I did miss that bird, the only one to ‘talk dirty’ to me).

They all drifted across towards me and exuded love, warmth and kindness.

Every thing was fine, beautiful. Time seemed to be plastic while I could invent stuff like a week with no Thursdays. The power was now mine. Flowers blossomed at my will and changed colour just as I wished.

In the haze I spotted a box like shape floating in the ether. It was drawing me in towards it with a semi hypnotic influence.

A voice in my head said: “Go there only if you want to be sucked into the eternal excrutiating hell of background noise on television. Many have pressed that button and have been transported to the realms of travel, documentary, wildlife, education and unreality programmes. The din of Hades will be with you forever.

You will never again be free of such demons as the frog tone or cashier number 3 please and cats being kicked by horses not to mention the double digited percussionist. Furthermore, you will have to share that vile realm with people who enjoy it and the people who enjoy inflicting it.”

Aaaaghhh. Bong.

Yeh, well there had to be something to ruin it didn’t there. I awoke to a very loud Bong, and News at ten.

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